About This Blog

As time permits, in-depth musings on myriad subjects will be posted. Abbreviated adages will be announced via Twitter.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Worthless

It's 2315, and I should be in bed.

Asleep.

But I'm not.

While not in the same vein, I, like Public Enemy so many years prior, got so much trouble on my mind. Am I in the right job? Have I made the best choices for the future of my family? Why haven't I heard anything from that interview this past April? Last communique from them three weeks past said no decision had yet been made. Should I email again? 

Was pursuing a master's in instructional technology the best route to take? Should I have listened to Terry ten years ago and got myself to a law school? Why, in this allegedly great nation, is it so hard for those stuck in the middle to get ahead?

All of the above resonate with me, keeping me awake when I should be in bed. Asleep. It makes me feel worthless. 

But I'm not. At least, I don't think so.

I'm married to my best friend—who just so happens to also be the most beautiful woman in the world. Together, we have a modest, comfortable home. With a yard. And a dog. And, together, my wife & I brought a life into the world in the form of a Calvin-esque boy who is more perfect than we ever could possibly have hoped. And he calls me "Daddy," not seeing my faults.

Why, then, can I not see myself through the eyes of a toddler, recognizing what successes I have, rather than the failures over which I seemingly obsess. Human nature? Meh.

So, it's now 2330. The Smiths' "Asleep" pours out, gently, soothingly, hauntingly from my media player. Maybe I should try harder to go to sleep, being less afraid of failures and more hopeful for the future, even if it isn't what it used to be. 

Thanks for reading.


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